Misadventure Memoirs

We walked 15k steps today! It was a big one after 12 hours of solid sleep, commencing with a quick breakfast (complete with pilferage from the buffet selection for snacks later in the day!) before we boarded the bus for a quick guided tour of the sights of Barcelona and then began our walking tour of the medieval quarter at 10am. 

Having the afternoon free to explore on our own, we headed to Park Guell. On our previous visits to Barcelona, we have visited La Sagrada Familia and La Pedrera, leaving only Casa Battlo and Park Guell to round out our Gaudi immersion experience. The queues at Battlo are always unappealing (and we have it on good authority that La Pedrera is superior anyway) so we chose the Park. So glad we did…it was amazing! From the adorable little gingerbread house to the highest point with a 360 degree view of Barcelona, it was all magnificent!

Still on a high and all Gaudi’d out, we wandered down the hill to find a bar for a refreshing late afternoon beverage. Finding a little place with a rear courtyard, we ordered two mojitos and waited patiently for 10 to 15 minutes before Col went inside to follow up. Apparently, the lads were kicking back, chatting and giggling…certainly not gainfully whisking up our longed for tall, quenching drinks! We should have known at that point that it was a sign to vacate the premises, but (another) 10 minutes later, two glasses of the most horrendous concoction imaginable were delivered to our table. So, if you can conceptualise, super strong lime cordial enhanced by a dollop of mint sauce, with no ice but a straw. Completely undrinkable! We ordered a Corona each which we skulled and then scurried out of there at the earliest opportunity, leaving the Kermit green horrors untouched! 

On our way back to our hotel, we stopped off at Barcelona’s old bullring, which has now been converted into a shopping complex. It’s a magnificent structure and has been skilfully adapted to its new purpose. Just inside the main entrance is a stand alone dried fruit retailer called “Luxury Foods” which, over the ensuing 15 minutes was to become the scene of the greatest swindle of all time! (I still can’t explain it, but I swear it involved sleight of hand, hypnotic techniques and perhaps even some rohipnol laced dried strawberries!).

My first mistake was making eye contact with one of the two sales assistants as we were about to wander past their stall…and that was it…mark made. They worked as a team the pair of them and with rapid fire generosity, they began luring us into their craftily conceived trap by extending gloved fingertips full of plump, succulent and exotic dried fruits. The twist to the trap was that all fruits were the same price, regardless of exoticness, so once we had agreed to purchasing some of our second selection, we were gone! What followed was some evil sorcery whereby one chick plied us with luscious morsels, garnering agreement that, yes, they were indeed splendid, while the other filled a brown paper bag with ladles full of the latest offering that we had agreed was delicious. At one stage I remember glancing at the price and noting €4.50 per 100g…starting to feel a little queasy, not so much from being practically force fed dried fruit, more from the fact that our paper bag was now alarmingly bulging with goodies…all mixed, so of course there was no way back…we were well and truly committed to paying for that stash! When we finally pulled the pin, refusing any further persuasion to try just one more variety, the Great Weigh In occurred…2.1kg of dried fruit!! 😳

Now I stress, mixed, dried fruit…so there’s no possibility of taking out the black cherries or the cinnamon apple pieces to reduce the pocket hurt…we are dudded beyond belief! The whole days shopping budget is blown on one ginormous bag of dried fruit! €90.45 (that’s AUD 163). What’s more, we have to consume that entire humungous bag of sniper laxatives over the next 30 days as there’s no bringing ‘em back through Australian Customs! (I did a quick calc in the taxi on the way back to our hotel …we’re individually up for a daily compulsory consumption of 34g each for a month. By which time I dare say we will have the cleanest pipes in the Southern Hemisphere!) 😂